before closing my eyes..

Assalamualaikumm..
And a happy life good people..
When I was a child,there was not a lot to think about..all I see was fun,colors and happiness..
But then,as I grow up..there were the other feelings..
Like,sadness..guilt..regret..
Responsibility,confidence..and fear..
Now,I bet..that the first time we felt those feelings..We were scared..we lost hope,and gave up..
At the verge of growing up..
I caught myself,thinking a lot..even though people see me,on the surface that I was not mature..which I was always denying..The truth was,I was always thinking..
Thinking,thinking,thinking..and sometimes,it even gets me in my head!
I didn't realize,that there were a lot to think about..
And at some point,I was terrified..because,in all that thinking..there were,POSSIBILITIES..
What if this?..What if that?..Should I?..Would I?
All these questions..all these,complicate things..all these foreign feelings and insights..
Thus,it reconnects us to the fact that..we are just humans..Humans that are ordinary,plain..
WE WERE VULNERABLE..
Even though that each of us has our own specialty,we still need each other,we still rely in others..
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL,COMPLETING EACH OTHER..MAKING US WHOLE AND COMPLETE..
I have a lot of dreams,that everyday in my life..I wished and prayed that those dreams,will come true..
We still hoped on God,the one that is all powerful and mighty..Allah S.W.T..
You know,I always was interested in reading..anything that can feed me something..even with the slightest info and knowledge..I was always hunger for more..And I want to thank my Parents for guiding me and training me in such a precious gift..The gift of obtaining knowledge and searching for them..
I thank Allah,for such a blessing to me..
And to that..one of these days..I realized,that..from the moment I was in my mother's womb..
I HAD A PURPOSE..
More like a mission to accomplish..a piece of puzzle to be put and complete it..
But,there must be something that's obstructing my path and disrupting my view..
I get very playful,and lost my way..I was not me..
But Praise to Allah,He has guided me..and always showing me the correct path when I was astray..
Now,that is what we call,Allah's love..What we humans was actually missing in our empty lives..But,as I said,we were always distracted...
 I had said in my older posts before..life was complicated..humans,are complicated..
We could come up with a new silly theory and agree with that..
But that was one of the mistakes that human does..Theories..
To tell you the hard truth..if I want to elaborate this..It would be,at least a million words..And I would be delighted to tell you,my silly theories sometimes :)
Theories that maybe,some fantasies,or old folklore of the past..
It was always you,to decide..look,more choices..more thinking..
Whatever it is,I would gladly amuse you all..
And I want to apologize for my extensive ranting this time round..
It's just that,before I close my eyes tonight..
I feel that,at least,I can send a message to people..
Well,not much of a message,but more of some advice,wisdom..you tell yourself..
It came from the bottom of this such humble little heart,and hoped to make people feeling warm..
Feeling,what I am feeling..The feel,of our hearts unite,and in maximum tranquility..

And..lighting up,Hope :)