Hello.
I'm gonna cut the crap and say what's on my mind lately.
It's just that, I know me. I am the sweet, cheerful, creative, carefree girl on one side...and the other side, is the hardworker, competetive, seeking side. I'm a fighter but with a sensitive side.
I despise dependency and would try my hardest to acquire anything that I don't know first then seek help. It's my nature, I don't need any help and that was why when everything crumbled when there was nothing left but dust then I will ask for help. People tell me it's bad, but that's how I am. Easy to say, I rather not ask for help at all. It's not that I'm egoistic or thought myself to be snobby, but I don't want people to see me weak and dependent. I want people to look at me and they would say, She is efficient, strong and independent.
I love to help people, but I want those people to help themselves as well. I hate it when people just ask for what they want without trying. Unless you have a severe emergency then I wouldn't mind but sometimes I worked so hard for something...but you get the ultimate reward.
There's just too much going inside me right now. Being a public figure, I'm going to hurt people. I just wish for a moment to myself to sort these things out. I know it's just a state of mind, but I'm tired.
Tired as hell.
